That Awkward Moment When Facebook Turned me into a Neo-Nazi

Early this morning I, like many other people active on social media, shared an article about the Black Lives Matter protests in the US.

By the end of the day, my Facebook account had been hacked into, friends and family were receiving messages full of hate, and my inbox was full of messages of concern, wondering when and how I became an ISIS-loving, Jewish-hating, nonsense spewing Neo-Nazi.

For the record, I am none of those things.

Now that I have re-established control over my social media reigns, I wanted to take this opportunity to first thank all of my amazing friends and family who stuck up for me and did so without so much of an ounce of hesitation. You know that saying, ‘you only know who your true friends are when you really need them’? IT’S A THING.

Secondly, I wanted to dedicate a little special something to the human pimples who though it would be funny to commit identity theft, slander myself and others and otherwise be giant dicks.

I hope you had the best time. I hope that because you have no actual friends you got some entertainment this Friday night. Maybe it will go into your list of your top 10 most exciting nights of your lives because… you seriously had nothing better to do? Like nothing??? Not even Netflix? If you need title suggestions, I can totally help you out. Spoiler alert, Watney gets off Mars in the Martian #Watney2020
I hope you enjoyed acting like petty little brats who simply couldn’t get their words across using inside voices, so just threw one of those very awful, very public tantrums instead. You know, the kind of tantrums that make for really gripping birth control commercials, like this amazing French advertisement for condoms…

I hope that your family and friends are so proud are the kind of people that you have grown up to be and that when your mums brag about you to all their friends, I hope the opener is, “so what? My kid is a far better bigot than your kid will ever be!” I hope your future partners love you for everything that you are and enjoy the same hobbies as you, like kicking kittens, ruining birthday parties, and watching horribly made extremist videos.

I hope that in the future, if you ever feel the need to express your opinions again, that you do so honestly and as yourselves. Have the gaul to take responsibility for your own opinions. Hiding behind the guise of people who do take that responsibility proves only that you lack in both courage and integrity.

But most of all, I hope that you are happy and at peace with yourselves. It looks as though that you aren’t, and that the only joy you can obtain is through attempting to take it away from somebody else. I hope that you fix whatever hate you have in your hearts, because I  can lead a horse to water and talk until I’m blue in the face, but I can’t make it drink, or make you see reason if it’s not reason that you’re looking for. What I can promise you is that I will not stop sharing and writing about what is important. I will never stop believing in the potential for people to be kind to one another and I will never, ever be scared into silence by the likes of you.

Good try though.








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